B and I were talking the other day as we went for a little family walk (with at least one screaming child) that our lives have changed so drastically…even compared to those who only have one newborn. We have no reason to complain (other than the lack of sleep and the constantly fussy two babies), but it seems that this is a lot more difficult than we thought it was going to be.
I’m not talking about hard physically. Yes, the sleep deprivation gets to you. But it’s far more the emotional exhaustion that really does you in.
B was on bedrest for 6 weeks prior to the birth of the kids. Lots of physical sleep, but boring as all get out and emotionally exhausting (you try worrying about your babies coming way early and the dangers inherent there).
Then the birth itself, which is emotional (in a good way, but still draining). Then coming home and the adjustments to having to care for two babies without really being given any instructions (love prenatal classes, but they’re really quite useless). Emotionally and physically draining.
Then, we had a baby almost die in our arms. Giving mouth-to-mouth to your two-week-old daughter is not something I would wish on anyone. Two weeks in the hospital = draining.
Then the readjustment to them coming home again. Not any easier than the first time, that’s for sure. Maybe even harder due to the paranoia that they’d quit breathing again.
Now, they’ve decided to fuss and cry all the time. I mean ALL the time. There is at least one baby, often two, fussing at any given moment (unless there’s other people around, in which case, they sleep peacefully). Draining.
Plus, I have been informed that at the end of May, I will be jobless. Also emotionally draining.
I know this sounds like a giant whiny post, but I really am getting frustrated. I know lots of people go through this. I know it will come to an end. I know all the things people say to try and encourage us. I know that God has a plan for our family, and I know it’s a good one.
What I don’t know, however, is how to deal in the meantime. And I’m in the psychology field. My job, oftentimes, is to teach people coping mechanisms. Guess I need to listen to my own advice, hey?
Or, you could just come visit us. The kids behave when there’s other people around.
We have guest bed. Feel free to stay the night.
Or the week.
-ajh
P.S. Saw a diaper shirt the other day that said “I scream, You scream, We all scream, Cuz I scream.” Oh, how true.
P.P.S. Just read through this again, and while it is therapuetic for me to verbalize it, it sounds like I am far more unhappy than I am. In fact, I am not unhappy at all. I’m simply tired.
I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t/can’t :>( Not much help here except we pray for you adn wish we could be there to help more. We will try and come on the Friday by noon is my hope but I just don’t know at this point. Hang in there guys, ‘and this too shall pass’
Love you both, Mom
If you know everything we “should” say then I guess it comes down to letting you know you are being prayed for… [insert other motivating, encouraging, enthusing, renewing, remarkable statement here].
Whatever you do stay in the word. Make time for it. Stay in prayer. God is the one who will encourage you the most. The bible is full of people who have been through trying times where they went as far as wishing they were dead. Every time God brought them through it praising him. God is good and he loves you.
I would be there in a heartbeat… but I just checked airline tickets and it’s almost $700 from San Diego!! Yikes. I’ll definitely be praying for you but beyond that I won’t be much help. The silver lining on the fussing and crying is that at least you know they’re still breathing!!
Love you both (and of course the babies).