Crazier and crazier

Wow, it has been forever since I have blogged. My most sincere apologies. However, I have an excuse: I have twins.

Life has been hectic for the last two years. After losing my job when the kids were just new babies, I began the adventure of commuting nearly three hours per day. Thank God, He gave me a job close to home. In November of last year, I moved to an office 15 minutes (in bad weather and worse traffic!) from home.

B went back to work, and is now on her third job since returning. The first one was a joke – the County she worked for was an inbred cesspool of backwards  old boys that couldn’t see female talent if it kicked them in the jewels…and she almost did.

The second job for her was much better – a great team she was sad to leave, but the perks of government employment made too much sense at this point. so, she is back to work 50%.

I am working about 150%. I am doing my practicum and, as I write this, my final paper is percolating in my head. I have to submit it in a few hours, and I need ot add a couple pages of text, so I am mulling it over subconsciously (I can do that now that I am almost done my Master’s!) while I write this quick update post to get me back on the blogging train. I’ve missed it.

Anyway, that’s enough of an update about us. As for the kids, they are growing, developing, getting smarter, scaring their parents with how smart they actually are, and making me (especially) feel completely incompetent as a parent.

Our small group at church is working through a parenting program that is supposed to help you be a better parent. Mostly just makes me feel like crap all week. At least before I didn’t know I was being an idiot. Now I know I’m being an idiot and, even worse….so does B.

Thought I had her fooled. She married me, after all, didn’t she?

Stupid parenting program.

- ajh

Settle(d) down!

Well, it appears to be happening – life is settling down.

While I would love to imply that we have everything under our complete control that would be a foolish implication, and to say it outright would be a bold-faced lie.

So, we have some things under a little bit of control. That’s fairly accurate.

Rhett and Ayla go to bed sometime around 8-8:30. They sleep until 5-5:30, then they wake up to eat, and go back to sleep until 8ish. So, with my alarm set for 6:15, I get almost a full night’s sleep. As close as I can expect any time soon, I suppose.

I have to say that through all the stuff it feels like we’ve gone through, it really hasn’t been that bad. It’s been busy, yes. And I likely wouldn’t choose to have twins again, but now that they are sleeping better, being a dad is more fun than work…for now.

They aren’t crawling yet, nor are they talking, asking questions, running around pulling things out of cupboards, or trying to see who can jump down the most stairs with the least injury. That’s when it’ll be work again.

So, the 30-second update of the last 3 months… in random order, because that’s the way my mind “works”…

- mice in the house. Moved to B’s parents’. Caught 8 in traps, plus had exterminator come to house tofind hole. He couldn’t find one and decided that they must have run in the house when I was pulling the deck down. 30 seconds of brush clearing close to our house, and I found a hole. A large hole. Plugged it with steel wool and half a can of that sticky, expanding goop. No mice since. And, I haven’t been hunting mice for 12 years.

- Slowly adding solids to the babies’ diet. Rhett poops 17 times a day. Ayla poops once. I like Ayla. Sweet potatoes seem to be the current favourite.

(Before you freak out about favouritism, I love both of my children equally. I just like Ayla more.)

- Did I mention that they’re sleeping better?

I think that sleep is taken for granted when you are without children. It becomes a focal point of your life once it’s missing. Now that it’s back, it seems not so bad to miss a little here and there. Or is it that it seems worse? … … …

- Rhett is giggling much more easily now. He is ticklish, and loves to be scared…but not too scared. Otherwise he cries.

- Ayla doesn’t giggle so much as squeal with delight. At least that’s how I’m choosing to interpret it when she screams as I swing her around in circles. Gently.

Ah, the adventure. I love it. Feel free to drop us a line, or book a time to come by and visit! We’d love to have you – providing we know you.

Internet weirdos need not apply.

 

- ajh

My deepest apologies….

I guess I got caught up in being a dad. I haven’t been very good at updating this. In my defense, this whole “having twins” thing is far busier than anyone expected…except those who already had twins and tried to warn us.

I’ve started a new job as a Caseworker with Child and Family Services. Good job, bit of a drive, but I like the down time.

The babies (whom I know you care more to hear about) are doing well. Rhett seems to have a bit of a cold, but we’re hoping that a new filter in the humidifier will fix his slightly stuffy nose. He is nearly 14 lbs now, and Ayla is close to 11. It’s crazy to think that they are over 4 months old now. Seems like only days ago we were childless and carefree.

You know how when you get older you look back on your childhood as “carefree”? You know: no responsibilities and yet somehow you thought life was tough? Well, now that we have kids, we look back at our early adulthood the same way. Life seemed tough sometimes, but it’s nothing compared to the responsibilty of child-rearing. But, at least this is a path filled with rewards!

Speaking of which, there have been occasions where Rhett has giggled. Only got a coupel in a row out of him – no belly laughs yet, and Ayla has restricted herself to screeching in pleasure rather than laughing, but there are definitely upsides to acting like an idiot in front of your kids.

Hopefully I can remember to turn that off when they bring friends over.

- ajh

Sleep deprivation is an understatement…

B and I were talking the other day as we went for a little family walk (with at least one screaming child) that our lives have changed so drastically…even compared to those who only have one newborn. We have no reason to complain (other than the lack of sleep and the constantly fussy two babies), but it seems that this is a lot more difficult than we thought it was going to be.

I’m not talking about hard physically. Yes, the sleep deprivation gets to you. But it’s far more the emotional exhaustion that really does you in.

B was on bedrest for 6 weeks prior to the birth of the kids. Lots of physical sleep, but boring as all get out and emotionally exhausting (you try worrying about your babies coming way early and the dangers inherent there).

Then the birth itself, which is emotional (in a good way, but still draining). Then coming home and the adjustments to having to care for two babies without really being given any instructions (love prenatal classes, but they’re really quite useless). Emotionally and physically draining.

Then, we had a baby almost die in our arms. Giving mouth-to-mouth to your two-week-old daughter is not something I would wish on anyone. Two weeks in the hospital = draining.

Then the readjustment to them coming home again. Not any easier than the first time, that’s for sure. Maybe even harder due to the paranoia that they’d quit breathing again.

Now, they’ve decided to fuss and cry all the time. I mean ALL the time. There is at least one baby, often two, fussing at any given moment (unless there’s other people around, in which case, they sleep peacefully). Draining.

Plus, I have been informed that at the end of May, I will be jobless. Also emotionally draining.

I know this sounds like a giant whiny post, but I really am getting frustrated. I know lots of people go through this. I know it will come to an end. I know all the things people say to try and encourage us. I know that God has a plan for our family, and I know it’s a good one.

What I don’t know, however, is how to deal in the meantime. And I’m in the psychology field. My job, oftentimes, is to teach people coping mechanisms. Guess I need to listen to my own advice, hey?

Or, you could just come visit us. The kids behave when there’s other people around.

We have guest bed. Feel free to stay the night.

Or the week.

-ajh

P.S. Saw a diaper shirt the other day that said “I scream, You scream, We all scream, Cuz I scream.” Oh, how true.

P.P.S. Just read through this again, and while it is therapuetic for me to verbalize it, it sounds like I am far more unhappy than I am. In fact, I am not unhappy at all. I’m simply tired.

Time flies…

Tomorrow is 2 months. Unreal.

We have spent 1/4 of their lives in the hospital. Pediatrician said those two weeks are basically a write-off. That means our 2-month-olds are actually only a month and a half. Plus, they were 5 weeks early, so that sets them back a bit. Essentially we got a one-for-two deal. One month of development over two months’ time.

Oh well. Can’t complain, really. We have two healthy babies. The Rhettster is 8 lbs now. Alya May is nearing 7 lbs. They are so close to smiling, it’s painful. They poop a ridiculous amount. Rhett has an amazing ability to hold in his pee until you’re halfway through changing his diaper.

Seriously, a four-foot arc. It’s ridiculous.

More sleep has meant less time to do anything in the middle of the night like I used to. No picture updates, no blog updates – just sleeping! It’s been much more human.

Or humane. Whichever.

- ajh

Wow…

You know it’s been a long time when you only get two hits in a day (as opposed to that awesome day when you had lots of time to be funny and creative and got just over a hundred). People lose interest.

So, in the hope of you not losing interest, here’s an update:

Life is insane.

That’s as far as I got before screaming interrupted me. I told you life was insane.

Seriously though, it’s good that I have spring break this week. No work means I can help around the house with my mom here. Although it seems that nothing actually gets done. It’s too busy between feeding and changing diapers!

I think that of the 24 hours in a day, feeding, changing, and soothing takes up about 12 of it. That leaves 12 for us to sleep, eat, shower, and do anything we can around the house (which is a whole lot of nothing!).

The babies are home and healthy, and gaining weight. They are fully over their colds and the resultant RSV, and as such are doing well.

So that was started 5 days ago. Things are starting to get better – we are up to about 2 hours of sleep consecutively, 3 times a night – so if we go to bed around 9, we end up with about 5-6 hours of sleep. Not too bad, all things considered.

It definitely takes some adjusting.

We had family/baby pictures done a couple days ago. Got some great shots, but you’ll have to look closely. In one of the pictures, I’m holding a baby and a handful of baby poop. My mom was there for the shoot, as was B, and they wiped off the visible poop and then the photographer took a couple pictures. So, I have a handful of crap. Pretty funny stuff, actually. Gross, but funny.

Okay, mostly gross for me.

Mostly funny for you.

So that brings the tally to: me – pooped on, peed on, puked on…and the same for B. I guess it’s sort of inevitable. Heck, Rhett peed on his own head already.

- ajh

Sleep? Me? Yeah, right…

So, back in pre-parenting days, I made the foolish choice to ignore people who warned me that I would soon be entering into the world of no sleep. And these were parents of only one infant at a time. I have two infants.

And, B would argue, myself makes three…

So, if you haven’t heard, the babies are home and doing well. They appear to be growing (getting heavier anyway…) and are managing to breathe with regularity (something that plagued them in the past).

But that means that sleep is a thing of the past. Not entirely, obviously, but there is a serious shortage. Let me break things down for you:

Say the babes eat at 9 pm:

Until 9:30 or so, it is a mixture of feeding, burping, trying to wake them up/keep them awake, and warming milk for the top-up.

9:40 – after another burping session with one of them (while B does the other), the top-up begins. Because they’re so small, they aren’t efficient at breastfeeding yet. They’ll get there, but in the meantime we have to bottle feed them the last little bit. This, combined with the extra burping efforts (since Ayla is ridiculously tough to burp and suffers incredible gas pains that nearly double the poor girl over) takes us to 10 pm.

At 10, the changing begins. This takes approximately 10 minutes. You try and get a 6 pound wriggler into something made for someone twice their size…twice. Rhett especially likes to arch his back which makes bending joints to fit into leg and arm holes incredibly tough. Not to mention the fact that this has to be completed while there is at least one, but usually two, babies screaming at the top of their lungs (for varying reasons – wet, cold, gassy, bored). This results in shoddy workmanship that generally, in turn, results in more screaming while the other parents corrects what the first neglected/missed/didn’t even try to do.

10:10, trying to get them setteld down from the change to go to sleep. Depending on how much sleep they got during the day, this task varies from difficult to mind-blowingly impossible. Enter gas-pains for Ayla and a desire to look at everything upside down for Rhett. Timing for this varies – good nights take about 30 minutes to get them both settled, which means by 10:45 we’re in bed, praying that they stay asleep. Bad nights this takes up to and hour and a half, or not at all.

So, if it’s a bad night, not terrible, but bad, they’ll go to sleep approximately 30 minutes before they have to be woken up for their next feeding. And if they are woken instead of waking on their own, they are much harder to feed.

Why not just feed them seperately, you ask?

Did you not just read the above description? Are you nuts?

I know I’m getting there.

- ajh

On the mend…

Well, it appears as though we may be out of the woods, so to speak. Rhett has finally been moved upstairs, and is now sharing a room with his sister. He is nearly wireless, having only monitors and no assitance attached to him (other than a feeding tube that will likely be removed in the morning).

Ayla is still being assisted by her oxygen prongs. However, she has been reduced from 0.5 litres per hour to 0.125 litres per hour – chances are good that she will be fully weaned tomorrow. If all goes as “planned” (like you can plan anything as a parent) then there is a chance they will be home by the weekend. That would make me happy.

Very happy.

This house just feels so empty. Of course, I am here alone. B’s in the hospital with the babes, and because I work and her mom doesn’t, B’s mom spent the night tonight. I get the next two, though. Ugh. Hospitals blow.

Well, I can certainly say that when I started this blog, this was NOT the adventure I thought I’d be sharing with you. I thought it would be more along the lines of the time when B got pooped on.

Cuz I’m a guy, and I think poop is funny.

Apparently.

I also think that sucking a balloon full of helium back and talking about “g-funk brothas” and the relative weight of helium as compared to air is funny.

I’m suddenly wondering if I am capable of parenthood.

- ajh

Mostly just holding steady…

At work and have a tiny little bit of free time. That means you get a quick update:

Ayla is doing better. She is down to 0.5 litre/hour of oxygen through nasal prongs. This is a good thing – that’s not much oxygen at all. She is still working pretty hard to breathe but that will slowly improve over the next few days. She is pretty mucus-y still; hopefully that will clear up as well sooner rather than later. She is, ironically, on the Pediatric Oncology ward (which is an immuno-compromised ward); maybe it’s not irony, but some other part of speech, but she has what is considered an infectious disease…and she is on an immuno-compromised ward. Plus, we have to stay with her all the time, because the nursing care on this ward is nearly non-existent. Ayla’s technically on “close observation”, which mean a nurse is supposed to come in any time an alarm rings, or every 15 minutes. Yeah, they don’t do that at all. There’s no way we can leave our baby there by herself – no one cares as much as we do (obviously). Our health system is suh-weet.

Rhett is still just hanging out on the ventilator. He is getting better, but suffers from WWBS (Wussy WhiteBoy Syndrome). He’ll strengthen up over the next day or so – they’re going to try weaning him off the ventilator again today. Hopefully it takes today. He went from 1 hour on his own 2 days ago, to 7 hours on his own yesterday. Hopefully today, he’ll buck up and start to really breathe on his own – no apnic spells!

So that’s the update. Nothing really all that new. We ask for your continued prayers as the babes walk the long road of recovery. Plus, the same virus they had, I picked up – not a huge deal in adults, but it’s stubborn and won’t leave. I would really prefer to be better by the time they get home! So, add that to your lists for us! Thank you all so much – we appreciate your prayers! By our last count, we have 4 churches, 4 care/small groups, 3 prayer chains, ~100 family members, plus untold numbers of friends praying. We know beyond all doubt that God is hearing our requests, and taking care of us and our babes, and we covet those prayers on a daily basis.

Love, A, B, and the babes!

Another quick update…

It seems the only time I get to write here is when I’m at work, so here we go…

Ayla was extubated on Wednesday and has done reasonably well. Her oxygen levels dropped once (called a “desat”) yesterday around 3 pm, and so she has to remain on oxygen by way of nasal prongs. Not really a big deal; the nurses say her lungs sound way better, and there is hardly any crap comingout of her lungs when she breathes. She is definitely on the mend.

Rhett isn’t doing quite as well yet, but he was about 24 hours behind Ayla this whole time anyway. They tried to wean him off the ventilator yesterday, but he still had some of the sedative in his system and was riding the ventilator. He desatted a couple of times, so they bumped his O2 levels back up for the rest of the day, and were going to try and start to wean him again overnight, since by then, the meds should be out of his system. He also doesn’t have as much crap in his lungs as before, so it’s good. His blood pressure has stabilized and he’s off his epinephrine as off yesterday early morning.

So, things are looking up. We have had people praying – a LOT of people praying, and we appreciate it so much. It is wonderful to see God’s people come together in a time of crisis. If only we were so connected at all other times as well. Maybe it’s a bit of a wakeup call in that sense for us as well – how often do we treat others poorly, and is there really any point to it? There is a point to this community of Christ, and support in tough times is definitely a part of it. However, let me encourage you to be just as connected and loving when times aren’t obviously tough for people.

Thank you all again for your prayers, support, and food!

Love,

A, B, and the babes!

ADDENDUM:

As of noon today, Rhett still is unable to breathe on his own, so they are leaving the intubation as is until tomorrow – they will try again then. The doctors are not allowing Ayla to be fed into her stomach, but rather have the tube all the way into her intestine. This means, while she is being nurished correctly, she feels hungry constantly and is visibly miserable. Tonight we will try and convince the doctors to pull the tube up a couple centimetres so it is in her stomach so she can relax a little bit. Please continue to pray as these little ones are still not well. Recovering, yes. Recovered? No.